Okay I've got a couple of minutes to spare before I head for shower,
so I thought I would take the time to put in another blog.
First one in a while, better late then never though :)
sometimes i wish i can choose how i want my life to be.
how i could start a story with my happy ending.
how i wish i had the love from my own mother.
how i wish my dad wasnt in prison.
how i wish my siblings were here by my side.
how i can choose not to be attach to anyone
before i got married.
how i wish i chose the right friend.
but, to think about it,
we don't live in a world of reality,
we live in a world of perceptions.
regret is an essential component of happiness.
there's alot of things i regret in my life though.
from the school days til my working times.
from my family til my friends.
trust is a weakness that
will neva change in me.
i trusted to many people
that i collapsed in the end.
i find hard times searching for
true friends but they are
not worth being with.
so until then,
i trust no one.
i tried my best to
be the best for my past
but it all went wrong.
i put my family aside
just to be happier with
some other strangers.
i'm starting to wonder if
i should really look for
my mother.
i do not know where she is.
my dad always asked me
if i wana meet my mom.
its awkward.
i dont wana cry again
going through all these
and to realized that
i was born this way.
and again...
there's no point wasting tears!
i love my guardians.
they picked me up
when i needed love.
without them, i dont know
where on earth i will be.
Im a girl who likes my fair share
of love and affection.
Unfortunately I couldn't survive
any longer and had been feeling
the grips of depression, and
when I feel depressed, it's time
to make urgent changes, because
I can quite quickly become a
chunk of good-for-nothing depressed meat.
I just wana work and earn the money
to leave Singapore.
my life has been hectic and
I have been under pressure
when i start thinking of leaving
the family behind.
oh well,
life may not be easy,
yet it never gets too hard.
you open yourself up to sufferring
to people you love most.
Only those who dare to fail greatly
can never achieve fully.
Giving up is the easiest thing in the world to do
and i will neva give up to
the planned i've made for myself
and i hope almighty God
will fullfill my wishes.
i just dont know what i want in life...
but i guess i felt betta now after letting all these words out.
God is fair. He knew what he's doing.
All we have to do is smile and wait.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
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